Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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