Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
