lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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