Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
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Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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