Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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