yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
