she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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