we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
