Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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