i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
