You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
