my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
