No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
