Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
