Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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