Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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