it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
