They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
