i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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