so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
