Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize