Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
