Non-Jews are for practice
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
