I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
