i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
