im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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