they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
