We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize