I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
