Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
