I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
