She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So much rum. So many feels.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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