i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
