I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
