They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
