physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So squirting runs in the family.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
