it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
