a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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