on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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