Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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