its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
