I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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