I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
