I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
