We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
