i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
