At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
