dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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