How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
