I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
