I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
