oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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