I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
