69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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