i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
