Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
