that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
