Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
